Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior! Can a regimen of no playdates, no TV, no computer games and hours of music practice create happy kids?
'Tiger mother' explains her strict parenting;
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/41005969/ns/today-books/from/toolbar
And 1 week later;
In Defense of the Guilty, Ambivalent, Preoccupied Western Mom - Ayelet Waldman on the virtues of letting kids quit, have sleepovers and find their own way.
The link at top of page is taken from a Wall Street journal article by Amy Chua and starts;
A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it's like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I've done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:
• attend a sleepover
• have a playdate
• be in a school play
• complain about not being in a school play
• watch TV or play computer games
• choose their own extracurricular activities
• get any grade less than an A
• not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama
• play any instrument other than the piano or violin
• not play the piano or violin...
My Thoughts;
There is always the risk of stereotytping but this article explains a style of parenting which seems to be selectively practiced in Taiwan(Albeit to a much lesser degree than this crazed woman!). I have only lived here a few years but having read this brief article and spoken to people over the years many of the things in this story (although not all together) have come up in tales of adolescence. How many Taiwan kids remember enjoying their school years? A lot I am sure but many I have spoken to say the stress they were put under by their parents was unbearable. Many of these people are now very sucessful & well rounded people whom I am glad I have had the chance to know, so whilst it sounds tough it doesnt appear to have affected them & most if not all seem to have changing views on parenting more balanced in their approach.
My experience in Taiwan has shown that people here are smart, hard working, and above all else very kind, so at the end of the day however they decide to educate and push their kids it seems to be working. This woman strikes me as someone who wrote this book to be sensationalist and to be famous. She reminds me of a Chinese want to be Martha Stewart (I don't dislike Martha but she likes the limelight).
Whilst I am not advocating that children should only have fun, I am glad that me & Gail (my Taiwanese wife) believe there should be more balance between work & play and ultimately care less about what others think, and more about our kids happiness with no expectations of what they should be, but keen to help them forge their own dreams based off interests and talents they discover along the way..
Long may we live in a culture that values kids happiness above their parents self interest!
